Hi. You've stopped at this year's up to date shiets of my life.
It's Lim Weiling here. You can expect many random things down here. A lot of mixed emotions. You can never ever figure out what's she is thinking behind her hideous appearance, optimistic character which is being portrayed in front of everyone. Few, or even none knows her real self.
Why?
She have no idea too.
Caiying Jamie Joelyn Larry Xingyang Zihui
22 August, 2010 @ 2:12 AM
If he dies first, I'd have to either learn to live without him or pluck up my courage and kill myself too. And why must dying be so hard? We should just have an on-off switch. How does it feel like to smash yourself against a pavement? Does it hurt more than my eye surgery? Where does your soul go? The unknown is so freaky.
And it's not just about Mike... Just thinking about Momo dying (Choy X 100 again) makes me so scared!! But it's inevitable. As life goes on, people leave you, and they don't come back.
Even at age 26, this freaks me out, so I don't know how older people handle this!! I almost wish I'd die now just so I don't have to face it.
I love my paternal grandparents because they took care of me as a child... However, as they age I've realised that I subconsciously avoid meeting them because I am terrified of being closer to them than I already am. It's horrid. I'm scared that they'd pass away (CHOY) and I can't handle it. Also I'm lazy lah... And I feel so guilty because they love me and they wanna spend time with me. Now writing this makes me feel so horrible. Sometimes it's just easier to avoid things that cause conflict within you altogether... But I guess making an effort to meet them is the right thing to do...
Remember Scrooge in A Christmas Carol? He was protrayed as being friendless and miserly... But sometimes I think he's got it right leh... He does not love, so he does not lose love - which hurts as much as it brings joy, perhaps more. And if he never felt how it feels like to love, then perhaps he'd be just fine since he'd just not know what he's missing.
And don't give me bullshit about how being a parent is all about giving unconditional love however your kids turn out. Fuck you lah. Is that why you always see parents being driven to tears and hopelessness by their kids? Nobody can be so selfless and saintly and not bother about their own feelings, ok?
- By XiaXue
I agree with what she'd said.
Life is so vulnerable..
