Or.. At least do something well?

I fail at everything.

My attitude sucks.

Everybody hates me.

Nothing likes me.

Nothing. Nobody.

Everybody, everything seems so distant from me.

Even my parents.

Even my friends.

Everything and everyone who and which seems so close to me, seems to drift away.

Further and further away.

Higher and higher away.

Even if I try, I can never get closer.

I don't have the stamina..

What's the use of dreaming high when you know that you can never ever in your life achieve it?

I hate to aim.

I hate it.

I can't do anything right.

I'm so incapable.

I suck.

I fail.

All of the most horrible words you can think of, can be appropriately used on me.

I don't know why, I love to write 'I fail' in my school planner.

Once, one of my friend ask me about it. I roughly remembered what she had said.

'Serene, oh my god, why did you write so many 'I fail'?! Are you okay?!', she seemed so surprised.

I just plainly replied, 'Yeah. Uhh.. I just seriously fail at everything. Nothing much. I like to write it,'.

'But.. You seemed so positive and encouraging!', she answered, obviously a little more calmed down.

'I'm not positive. I'm negative. I can only encourage others, but not myself.', I replied, matter-of-factly, trying to sound hyper.

Hmm. So the impression I give others.. Is so positive, so cheerful..

So misleading.. Very..